AfterGiving.com

I’m so grateful for the encouragement offered here and through Denise’s post on Caregiving.com on “Drug Take- Back Day;” you can read her blog here.

Yesterday, Rees ran in his first ‘Away Meet’ for Cross Country. I was so proud. (: He was in bed early Friday night and up by 6, packing his things and then we headed for the bus. I met them there.  (:  He did very well! It was a 1.5 mile run and a tough course. Several were sick at the finish line. He finished and finished very strong.

While I was watching the meet, Danette, our hospice nurse walked over to me! So wonderful to see her – and such a good day to run into her.

At noontime, Abrah, Marah and I headed to the courthouse with my mother’s pills. The sheriff was so kind. I had wondered if some type of paperwork was required–not at all, just a place to drop off the medications where they could be disposed of safely. He took the pills and the girls and I headed to a local farm to pick our pumpkins. (:

As we were driving out to the farm, Abrah and I began to share memories of my mother. I told (reminded) her about the time that my mother had to go to an assisted living facility for about two months. This was several months after her stroke, when we were trying to help her get back home. The doctor had requested a medication change and, in removing an anti-depressant, the result was severe anxiety and panic attacks. The left side of her brain was affected by the stroke and she had been on this medicine for quite some time. Greg was not feeling well during this time. I wanted so badly for her to come back to Rhode Island, where we lived at the time, but he said he just couldn’t manage and needed some time. We visited the assisted living facility frequently, driving to Maine, where my mother lived, from Rhode Island.

During one of the visits, we took her out to DQ. I remember riding in the car altogether. Two car seats, a booster for Abrah, my mother, Greg and I. She had been experiencing such anxiety. There was a quiet moment in the car and she said, “See, this is what will help me get better – family”.

We shared another memory of her feelings toward Rees. I think Rees really charmed her right from the start. When he was in first grade, I remember him showing her his legos and how and what he could create.

When she really wrestled with dementia, she would watch him and always say to me: “He’s going to be quite a man.” She would have loved this picture; better yet, being at the meet.

As I continue to miss my mother, the purpose of the grief is becoming more apparent. The grieving has its time of gentleness too, memories begin to uncover  – clearly. They even bring a smile.