One of the many life lessons that caregiving has brought to me is that of the importance of pausing. Pausing before a decision, pausing before words spoken, pausing before leaving a room to be sure my mother is left safely, nothing around her that could cause her harm.
I received a call from a lady last week. She wanted to know if I would consider selling her my mother’s wheelchair. Not long ago, I may not have spoken my needs, this day I did.
“Thank you for thinking of us, but I’m not able to part with or move anything of my mother’s just yet. I’m not sure when I’ll be able to, but I will let you know when I am ready.” Wow, I thought, did that just come out of my mouth? It did, and it was okay. No guilt. No worries.
My mother is not here with me, but she continues to teach and to impact my thinking. These are ways she can stay right here with me.
So, in time the healing will come. It may come more gently with some things than others and, that’s okay.
I can pause and know what is healing and what needs more time.