I had an appointment with my mother’s lawyer yesterday, the lawyer that drew up her will. He is a very kind man. He talked about trying to make things as simple as possible. I’ve managed my mother’s bills for many years, and as difficult as it was at times with managing ours as well, it was a terrible feeling to give instructions about accounts that are soon to come to a close.
Part of the lawyer’s instructions were for me to go to our courthouse here in Lewisburg and be “sworn in” as executrix. I did that this morning.
Last night at our support group, I asked that members bring a worry with them, one to sort out and talk about. With each worry that we carry, our daily responsibilities can seem heavier. My worry was about the appointment at the courthouse today. One of the members knew (and shared) exactly what would happen. It relieved a worry and helped the drive to the courthouse be easier.
As I walked a few blocks to the courthouse, I realized the funeral home that my mother was at before traveling to Maine was across the street. I knew this, but somehow had forgotten. As I walked by the funeral home, I had a hard time taking my eyes off of it. Somehow, the earliness of losing my mother and having her there (here in Lewisburg) felt better than today.
So much paperwork between yesterday and today, and with each piece of paper: there was my mother. With each piece moved to its proper place and different people in the various locations I visited, I explained: “That’s my mother.” These were her papers and explaining somehow brought her there with me. She had everything taken care of, and all will be just as she wanted. I wish I could have shown these people a picture of her; I’ll know now as we continue. Behind all the forms with her name typed on each one there was a person that endured very real struggles and challenges, a person who worked very hard within all that the papers told.
I’m so grateful for the help that I’ve received so far.
The kids start school tomorrow. It’s been a long time since I’ve been in the house solo. Today, as I was thinking about that, I could hear my mother say, “Come on now – you need to go on. You can do this.” I’ve scheduled some things for tomorrow to look forward to. I’m meeting my mother’s Hospice nurse for lunch and I’m going to the jewelers’ to have my mother’s ring sized for me. (: She would have liked this very much. I’m also going to write a note to a very special friend. The Journaling class through CarePASS at Caregiving.com meets tomorrow as well – I’m very grateful.
I wanted to share the poem that was read at my mother’s graveside service. Denise suggested (thank you Denise) that I get this from the Pastor. I honestly didn’t remember alot of it, but am so grateful it arrived today. I hope it provides comfort and a bit of strength for you as well.
“Miss Me – But Let Me Go”
“When I come to the end of the road
And the sun has set for me
I want no rites in a gloom-filled room.
Why cry for a soul set free?
Miss me a little-but not too long
And not with your head bowed low.
Remember the love that we once shared,
Miss me-but let me go.
For this is a journey that we all must take
And each must go alone.
It’s all a part of the Master’s plan,
A step on the road to home.
When you are lonely and sick of heart
Go to the friends we know
And bury your sorrows in doing good deeds.
Miss me-But let me go.”