My Friend
May 19 2012 in Sharon's Blog by Sharon
Monday a friend of mine who lives in another state is burying her husband. My friend’s husband had the same illness as my husband, Wayne. My husband passed away from this disease on January 2, 2011. The disease, as I have written before, is a rare and devastating neurological disease called multiple systems atrophy.
My heart is hurting for my friend. If my friend is like me, she may go through a period of dwelling on the “if onlys.” If only I had been more patient, or if only I had you fill in the blank. She also may dwell of the “should haves.” It is easy to feel like you were not enough after the death of a loved one. This is especially true if you were his or her caregiver. My friend needs to reject these feelings, however, even though they are often a normal part of the grief process. These feelings are not based on truth.
It did make me relive Wayne’s death in a way when I heard of my friend’s husband’s death, but I mainly feel hurt for my friend. I have a pretty good idea how she may be grieving and will continue to grieve in the months ahead.
As a whole I have been feeling less fatigued the last couple weeks. This grief stuff is an up and down thing, however, so I don’t make any assumptions. My week has been busy. That is good; but I always strive for balance between activity and rest and reflection, however. I am so thankful for the blessings and comfort my Lord provides.
I just became a part of a Christian’s widow’s group on Facebook. I would rather not be part of widow group, but I am excited about the support it will hopefully provide.
denise said on May 25, 2012
Hi Sharon–I’m so sorry to hear about your friend. How is she doing?
I think it’s terrific that you continue to look for areas of support that will help you. What do you think of the Facebook group so far?
Karen said on May 30, 2012
Hi Sharon–I understand how your friend’s loss makes your heart hurt. You could not help but relive your husband’s passing when your friend is experiencing something so similar.
Grief is definitely an up and down thing. A friend of mine who lost her mother says that it’s like waves. Just when she thinks she is on an even keel something will remind her of her mother and a wave of grief will come crashing down over her.
I hope that the Facebook group will provide some emotional support. Please let us know how that goes.