Secondary Losses Exemplified
It is said that the loss of a loved one can result in many secondary losses. These losses can include the loss of dreams, relationships, time, possessions, and duties around the house.
This week my bifold closet door loosened up and gave me problems again. This would have been something my husband, Wayne, could have easily fixed in the past. I am not a fix it person at all, so I again found myself calling a handyman who had advertised his services. Wayne, I could have used your help-a secondary loss of duties around the house.
This afternoon I went down to Kohler Andre State Park which is by Lake Michigan and walked the trail. It was a nice walk, and I saw two deer again. As I was leaving the park, however, I saw what appeared to be a retired couple at a picnic table ready to enjoy a picnic lunch together. My heart couldn’t help but feel a tug, as Wayne and I used to loved to do that together-a loss of relationship, dreams, and time.
Yes, this life is so temporal, and my faith and relationship with God has deepened. I have also been stretched and deepened in a way that only pain and loss can produce. I am thankful for that.
I am also seeking to invest in life again. I have become a part of a significant volunteer opportunity on Tuesdays helping others. I am attending two concerts with friends this week. One of them was this past Monday night, and I so thoroughly enjoyed it. I am at the same time trying to take time for myself, to reflect, to grow, and rest. I am learning to say no to things when it is beneficial for me to say no to things. I am thankful for all that.
The losses are still there, however. Lord, give me the grace to move ahead.