Living & Laughing Again
Aug 7 2011 in Skye's Blog by Skye
It’s been a while since I’ve updated.
Things have been hectic – chaotic, at best.
I don’t mean that in the traditional sense.
The girls and I have been having a great Summer.
It’s been nearly nine months since Chad left us.
While we will never be truly “healed” from that loss, we’ve been doing much better than I anticipated.
It seems that the veil of grief has been slowly lifted. We’ve all been longing to get the point in our grief journey when laughing at good memories replaces crying over the harder ones.
There are a lot of dates within the first year that are difficult.
It seems that life keeps speeding past, and yet when those special dates loom near, life stands still. Just for a day.
We would have celebrated our tenth wedding anniversary earlier this week.
I knew it was coming, but I pushed it to the back of my mind the best I could because I had so much to do.
Then the date came.
And it was emotionally taxing.
I took the girls to a special dinner at the same restaurant we went to last year, as a family of four.
We skipped real food and just ate dessert. Lots and lots of dessert.
After all we’ve been through, I’ve definitely learned that life is too sweet to save the best part for last.
The girls are doing well.
My oldest will begin the second grade in just a few weeks.
And my baby will be going to kindergarten.
So many changes in such a short amount of time.
I also will be returning to school next week.
Nervous, but excited at the same time.
During Chad’s journey, we were blessed with honest, skilled and compassionate staff members at each hospital, clinic and facility we attended.
The people who made the biggest difference in our lives, in my life as a wife and a caregiver, were his nurses.
They guided me gently, gave me detailed and frank opinions led by years of experience, and helped me see the bigger picture.
I’ll be starting nursing classes next week.
I am so excited, and even honored, to know that I will be able to help a family in the same manner in which I was.
I feel led to give back in this way; to use my unfortunate experience to improve someone else’s journey.
I still struggle at times with the “meaning” behind Chad’s death.
I’m not angry.
I’m not bitter.
I’m not depressed.
I realize that great answer is not one for me to know. My God knows. And I trust that His will is perfect, even if I do not understand.
We are so grateful for the opportunities we’ve been given.
My girls and I are just fine; learning to live our new life and laugh every chance we get.
Sharon said on August 7, 2011
Skye, thank you for sharing this! You are an encouragment to all of us!
I know what you mean about those special days the first year being so difficult. On July 30 my husband and I would have been married 40 years. That day went better than I thought it would because of the love of others.
I love your statement “I realize that great answer is not one for me to know. My God knows. And I trust that His will is perfect, even if I do not understand.”
I am sure there will always be elements of grief in your life in your loss of Chad, but you are resting in God’s grace and doing the next thing. Good for you!
God’s blessings as you begin your schooling to become a nurse. Good for you! I am so excited for you, Skye!
Karen said on August 8, 2011
Skye,
It’s so good to hear from you.
It’s so wonderful that you are going back to school and going into nursing. I know that the courses will be challenging, but that’s a good thing. You have so much to offer others. As caregivers, we know how important, even vital, that compassionate, supportive medical staff can be. I found that most nurses took the extra moments to explain things to me and to weigh in with their own experiences.
Thank you for sharing your update.
denise said on August 10, 2011
Skye!! I have been thinking of you!! I let out a bit of squeal about nursing school. I think this is AWESOME!! You will be terrific. Good for you!!
It’s natural for us to search for meaning from the situations that just break our hearts. I think you have your meaning.
Bette said on September 11, 2011
Hi Skye,
It’s so nice to hear from you.
I apologize my response is late and hope that school is going well for the girls and for you! Please write an update when you can.
Thank you for your words of clarity, that God knows…and sometimes we just won’t understand.
You continue to enjoy the moments given to you; thank you for your inspiration.