It’s been a while since I’ve updated.
Things have been hectic – chaotic, at best.
I don’t mean that in the traditional sense.
The girls and I have been having a great Summer.
It’s been nearly nine months since Chad left us.
While we will never be truly “healed” from that loss, we’ve been doing much better than I anticipated.
It seems that the veil of grief has been slowly lifted. We’ve all been longing to get the point in our grief journey when laughing at good memories replaces crying over the harder ones.
There are a lot of dates within the first year that are difficult.
It seems that life keeps speeding past, and yet when those special dates loom near, life stands still. Just for a day.
We would have celebrated our tenth wedding anniversary earlier this week.
I knew it was coming, but I pushed it to the back of my mind the best I could because I had so much to do.
Then the date came.
And it was emotionally taxing.
I took the girls to a special dinner at the same restaurant we went to last year, as a family of four.
We skipped real food and just ate dessert. Lots and lots of dessert.
After all we’ve been through, I’ve definitely learned that life is too sweet to save the best part for last.
The girls are doing well.
My oldest will begin the second grade in just a few weeks.
And my baby will be going to kindergarten.
So many changes in such a short amount of time.
I also will be returning to school next week.
Nervous, but excited at the same time.
During Chad’s journey, we were blessed with honest, skilled and compassionate staff members at each hospital, clinic and facility we attended.
The people who made the biggest difference in our lives, in my life as a wife and a caregiver, were his nurses.
They guided me gently, gave me detailed and frank opinions led by years of experience, and helped me see the bigger picture.
I’ll be starting nursing classes next week.
I am so excited, and even honored, to know that I will be able to help a family in the same manner in which I was.
I feel led to give back in this way; to use my unfortunate experience to improve someone else’s journey.
I still struggle at times with the “meaning” behind Chad’s death.
I’m not angry.
I’m not bitter.
I’m not depressed.
I realize that great answer is not one for me to know. My God knows. And I trust that His will is perfect, even if I do not understand.
We are so grateful for the opportunities we’ve been given.
My girls and I are just fine; learning to live our new life and laugh every chance we get.